I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
