dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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