as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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