This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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