Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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