You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
