Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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