I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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