Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I could fuck to npr.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
