i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize