That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
