i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
