Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
