I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
