Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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