I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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