I can't watch pbs sober anymore
thus making me awesome and them whores
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
