Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
