Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.

Fav 18 4089 1981
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school

Fav 10 4698 1371
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(256): View more from Alabama

Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?

Fav 13 1584 2661
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(609): View more from New Jersey

get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.

Fav 7 1618 1095
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

Fav 7 1112 865
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(630): View more from Illinois

Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.

Fav 9 2435 1318
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(708): View more from Illinois

When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.

Fav 0 297 138
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(775): View more from Nevada

Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba

Fav 0 146 13
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