Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
