she woke up with a sticky ear
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
