A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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