You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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