How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
