I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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