Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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