I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I want to make a zoo with you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
