we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
