the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sorry about my life...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
