Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have aggressive nipples.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
