About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
