I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
