my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
