You made me cry and you don't even care
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
