Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
