i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize