ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
