people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
