Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
