I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize