So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
