I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
