So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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