Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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