i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
