did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize