is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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