i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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