I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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