when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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