just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
