Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
