my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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