i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
