Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Soap is not a condiment
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
