one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize