So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
