you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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