Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
