You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
