Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
you never un-have a 4some
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
