a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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