Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
