"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
