Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
