Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
