with your own penis?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
