I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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