Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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