I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
