Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
