yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
