Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
