since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
