you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize