this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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