His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
