How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
