What a fucking waste of an outfit
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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