Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
BRING THE BAGELS
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
