Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize